Lyrics:

Christmas music, crowded stores
Tons of things I can't afford
Ferrari or a Benz would bring me cheer
Wind and rain and snow and sleet
Tons of fatty food to eat
The calories don't count this time of year
But one thing that I know
The presents aren't free
Unless it's meat that's underneath the tree

It's a Regular Christmas
A new review on Christmas Day
As long as we leave cookies
And imported IPA
Out by the tree
Who needs to talk to family?
Let's see what nicer car with which he'll play
Oh my stars and Seven Hells
Is that the sound of jingle bells?
Or is that Mr. Regular outside?
Wide-ass footprints in the snow
A distant voice says "Track Day Bro"
We're all a little regular inside
Let's bang on a sleigh ride

All the best, from ours to yours
Clacky doors and crusty drawers
Firm your shocks and plasti-dip your shame
Seasons Meatings, one and all
Winter soon, and no more fall
Is that a Honda Fit in my driveway?
So be good, boys and girls
If you do as he asks
Then he will bring potato sacks
And Millard Fillmore masks

It's a Regular Christmas
A new review on Christmas Day
As long as we leave cookies
And imported IPA
Out by the tree
Who needs to talk to family?
Let's see what nicer car with which he'll play
Oh my stars and Seven Hells
Is that the sound of jingle bells?
Or is that Mr. Regular outside?
Wide-ass footprints in the snow
A distant voice says "Track Day Bro"
We're all a little regular inside
Let's bang on a sleigh ride

One thing that I know
Tonight, on Christmas Eve
Is Mr. Regular is real
As long as you believe


It's a Regular Christmas
A new review on Christmas Day
As long as we leave cookies
And imported IPA
Out by the tree
Who needs to talk to family?
Let's see what nicer car with which he'll play
Oh my stars and Seven Hells
Is that the sound of jingle bells?
Or is that Mr. Regular outside?
Wide-ass footprints in the snow
A distant voice says "Track Day Bro"
We're all a little regular inside
Let's bang on a sleigh ride

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride in a Mazda on Track Day
Bro